And God speaks in the midst of tears...

this is on the cooler

Well, it finally happened.  Wil drove away a couple minutes ago.  It is so surreal.  It doesn't really feel different yet, but I know in my heart it is.  I have been pretty ok, for the last week with occasional bouts of sadness that I have hidden pretty well.  Even last night as we went out to eat, I was ok.  But this morning as I woke up realizing that I would not be waking up next to him for a long time, I was overwhelmed.  I snuggled up next to him and realized that is my very favorite place in the world.  It is where I feel the most loved and where I feel the most safe.  I will miss so much but the support and backbone that he is for me will be missed the most. 

So, I woke up crying and knew today was going to be hard.  Before the girls went to school, we gave Wil a going away present.  I bought him a Montreal Canadiens cooler and we put some goodies in it.  Things to help him on his trip and things to remember us by.  Tiana even wrote up a wonderful funny and witty list to go in it with some pictures.  It made Wil a little misty (which made Tiana proud). 

Then the goodbyes began.  Wil took Tabitha to school and then I took Tiana to school.  As Tiana got out of the car she turned and said, "Don't cry too much" and she smiled.  Wow, she knows me well.  I nodded and started the drive home.  I usually listen to my ipod in the car but I enjoy the Christian radio station here in the morning sometimes and that is what I had on today.  As I am driving, I am a little teary but pretty ok until this song came on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13yY9sXFKB8.  A little background, Desperation Band is from New Life Church in Colorado Springs and I have heard them sing this song several times but before we left Colorado I went to a benefit concert for a gentleman that died in the Haiti earthquake and the Desperation Band sang this song.  It really hit me that night and it has been very important to me in the last year.  The simplicity of the song is so awesome but my favorite line most of the time is:  just enough strength to live for today.  That is what I am trying to focus on....just enough strength to live for today and then I'm counting on God for the rest.  So as the tears are flowing freely, I was overcome with the awe of God.  He knew I needed to hear that song at that moment and so he had a Canadian radio station play a song by a Colorado Springs band at the specific time that I needed.  OK, yes I realize he is even more powerful than that but even in the little things I am blessed.  I am telling you I need to find something to do with music..it is too big a part of my life!

Anyways, Wil is going to be driving across the United States over the next week so please keep him in your prayers.  An uneventful, quick trip would be great!

So as Wil is trekking across the county, we will get on with Easter.  Easter is a very bittersweet holiday for me.  It is a fantastic holiday but it always reminds me of my dad.  The first holiday without him was Easter and we always said that was appropriate because he would love being in Heaven for that holiday but that is what I remember now.  Now add Wil being gone and family being far away and it will be a bit sad.  The girls are off school for Easter break and they are attending a youth rally in Ottawa tomorrow with their youth group.  So we will go to Good Friday service then they will leave and then I will have some alone time.  I think I will make some African food to console myself!   Then we shall see what unfolds for the weekend.  There is brunch at church so we will go to that then to service and then there will be an Easter Egg hunt.  Still haven't decided what we are doing for dinner.

On another note, my mom has been in the hospital with a blood infection.  It has been a long and stressful week but she is home now.  She is on daily IV antibiotics and has some recovery to do but she is glad to be home.