But I have to share with you the gift God gave me while I was at church. I have to say I almost didn't go because I knew that they would sing to me. They sing to anyone that has a birthday on Sunday and if you know me I don't really like being the center of attention but my relationship with the Lord has been very important as of late so I really felt like the devil was pushing me away so I went. After all what is more wonderful than being sung to on your birthday. So they sang, I smiled and then service started.
Now let me back up a bit. Over the last couple of weeks I have really been doing some soul searching about friendships, relationships and such. One area that I have been working on is facebook. I really enjoy keeping up with people as I live so far away. But I really have felt like I waste a lot of time reading a bunch of "friends" statuses that I have no interaction with and no real relationship with. So why do we call them friends. As I have thought more about it...aren't we all stalkers a bit? We watch people, look at pics of them doing all sorts of things, and we see inside their lives but we never really talk to them or really know them. Why is that necessary to us...what does it benefit us, what does it benefit them. Specifically how does it benefit me. It doesn't. Disclaimer: these are my opinions that I am sharing, this is not a judgement on anyone else. So, I decided that I was going to start going through my friends list and delete people that I have no interactions with. Not to offend anyone but to make facebook a more effective tool for me. I want to make facebook work for me not against me. I want it to benefit me and my friends and family not suck me into the well known facebook coma. Well, as I went through the first time, I didn't delete too many because, well they might talk to me sometime....or I would like to talk to them sometime. So I walked away and I just kept having a nagging feeling to do more. So I really started thinking about it and decided to delete some more. So I started going through one by one and asking several questions including....Do they impact my life? Do I impact their life? What will I miss if I delete them? Stuff like that. So after I did that, I walked away again. Then I started thinking about some others that I might be able to delete and then the guilt set in. Will I offend them? Will I offend someone else by deleting them? And on and on. That is where it stood when I went to church this morning.
So as the sermon begins...I begin to take notes. Part of that is because when I was a kid and I started sitting with friends, my parents made me take notes during the sermon to prove that I was listening. I stopped doing it for a while but my mind wanders so easily that I find taking notes keeps my mind on the sermon and not other things. Now as I take notes, I tend to doodle, flowers stars and such, only in between sermon points to keep my mind from drifting too much. Today it was a balloon. One single balloon. As I drew it, I heard a voice say "what is more beautiful, one balloon or many balloons?" As I thought about it I heard "facebook friends are like balloons". As I thought more about it I saw and heard in my heard my dad preaching a sermon about friends and balloons. Now, this was given to me in the context of a sermon so as you read my thought picture a pastor using the balloons as an illustration in a sermon and then hopefully the use of the word balloon and friend interchangeably will make sense. Here is how it went:
On the stage are 2 sets of balloons, on the left one balloon, in the middle 15-20 balloons and on the right 100 balloons. So my dad starts by asking everyone which bundle do you think is prettier? Do more balloons make it better, prettier, not necessarily. It may be more awe inspiring but not prettier. I look at them and think the bunch in the middle. Then the thought came, friends are like balloons. (This was all I saw and heard my dad say but the rest formulated as I wrote it down, so here is the rest) When you have 100 friends (or on facebook 562) it is awe inspiring. Everyone would be amazed at how many friends you have. You may even get lifted off the ground with a false sense of security. You might feel special. But what happens when you lose one? What would happen when one balloon pops? Nothing. They are gone and you may not even know. You can't enjoy them all, they can be alot to manage and they take alot of room (or in facebooks case, time). How special are you now?
Now one friend/balloon is safe and maybe even easier at times. You don't have to worry about much of anything except the one balloon. But God made us for relationships and one of my favorite sayings is "it takes a village" well one balloon is not a village. What happens when you need someone else (when the balloon pops)? You are left all alone and off balance.
So how many balloons/friends is good? I don't think there is a right or wrong number and I think that the number will change during you life and your circumstances and I am only using 15-20 as an example of a medium number, the actual number is different for everyone. Anyways, this number gives you stability, and at times it may help give you some air and help you along your way. This number is able to be managed and each friend/balloon can be enjoyed and interacted with and the relationships can be nurtured because if one leaves (a balloon pops) you know, you can react and you can care. You know in the "olden days" friendship was so intentional. We wrote letters, we sent cards that we signed ourselves, we made phone calls. You can do this with a smaller number, you just can't do it with the larger number...not well and not by yourself. Technology makes it too easy to keep in touch quickly and with less thought.
This is where it stopped, although my thoughts are still formulating and I am just amazed at how simple it is. Now I don't remember my dad ever doing a sermon on balloons so I don't think this is a memory but it is possible. I am sure if he did my family will let me know as they read this. But I know what I saw and heard this morning as I was in church and as I got into my car and drove home, I broke out crying with excitement and sadness. My dad was an amazing preacher and I didn't appreciate hearing him as a preacher for many years and I would give anything to hear him again. Well, I heard him today and it was amazing! Even as my thoughts formulated, I heard his voice encouraging me or affirming my thoughts. It was bittersweet. He was so inspiring to many people including his family, I love him and miss him daily.
Now, don't get me wrong, I think technology is great but I really feel that our relationships may be suffering because of how we use it. So I am choosing to work on my bouquet of balloons. My bouquet of friends/balloons will have several levels, some will be closer to me than others because I interact with them more, some will be farther away because I want to keep in touch and see them regularly and they add a beauty and strength to my bouquet that would be dearly missed without them. Those layers are what make my friend bouquet beautiful.
I will not have guilt anymore. I know that I am not doing this maliciously and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. But I really want to focus on the people that can be supportive and have a positive influence on my life and I on theirs. I want facebook to be a tool to use in my friendships not the entire friendship.
My love to all,
Brenda
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