A birthday gift from God!

So today is my birthday! 42 years ago today I was born in Liberia, West Africa a country that still today I consider home.  My girls have done a wonderful job of making this a great day.  Tiana has been confiscating all of my gifts and cards so that I wouldn't open them until today.  I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast and we are making Cincinnati chili for a late lunch.  Then I am going to try a new recipe for dessert.  And in between there I am going out for a drink with a friend.

But I have to share with you the gift God gave me while I was at church.  I have to say I almost didn't go because I knew that they would sing to me.  They sing to anyone that has a birthday on Sunday and if you know me I don't really like being the center of attention but my relationship with the Lord has been very important as of late so I really felt like the devil was pushing me away so I went.  After all what is more wonderful than being sung to on your birthday.  So they sang, I smiled and then service started.

Now let me back up a bit.  Over the last couple of weeks I have really been doing some soul searching about friendships, relationships and such.  One area that I have been working on is facebook.  I really enjoy keeping up with people as I live so far away.  But I really have felt like I waste a lot of time reading a bunch of "friends" statuses that I have no interaction with and no real relationship with.  So why do we call them friends.  As I have thought more about it...aren't we all stalkers a bit?  We watch people, look at pics of them doing all sorts of things, and we see inside their lives but we never really talk to them or really know them.  Why is that necessary to us...what does it benefit us, what does it benefit them.  Specifically how does it benefit me.  It doesn't.  Disclaimer:  these are my opinions that I am sharing, this is not a judgement on anyone else.  So, I decided that I was going to start going through my friends list and delete people that I have no interactions with.  Not to offend anyone but to make facebook a more effective tool for me.  I want to make facebook work for me not against me.  I want it to benefit me and my friends and family not suck me into the well known facebook coma.  Well, as I went through the first time, I didn't delete too many because, well they might talk to me sometime....or I would like to talk to them sometime.  So I walked away and I just kept having a nagging feeling to do more.  So I really started thinking about it and decided to delete some more.  So I started going through one by one and asking several questions including....Do they impact my life?  Do I impact their life?  What will I miss if I delete them?  Stuff like that.  So after I did that, I walked away again.  Then I started thinking about some others that I might be able to delete and then the guilt set in.  Will I offend them?  Will I offend someone else by deleting them?  And on and on.  That is where it stood when I went to church this morning.

So as the sermon begins...I begin to take notes.  Part of that is because when I was a kid and I started sitting with friends, my parents made me take notes during the sermon to prove that I was listening.  I stopped doing it for a while but my mind wanders so easily that I find taking notes keeps my mind on the sermon and not other things.  Now as I take notes, I tend to doodle, flowers stars and such, only in between sermon points to keep my mind from drifting too much.  Today it was a balloon.  One single balloon.  As I drew it, I heard a voice say "what is more beautiful, one balloon or many balloons?"  As I thought about it I heard "facebook friends are like balloons".  As I thought more about it I saw and heard in my heard my dad preaching a sermon about friends and balloons.  Now, this was given to me in the context of a sermon so as you read my thought picture a pastor using the balloons as an illustration in a sermon and then hopefully the use of the word balloon and friend interchangeably will make sense.  Here is how it went:

On the stage are 2 sets of balloons, on the left one balloon, in the middle 15-20 balloons and on the right 100 balloons.  So my dad starts by asking everyone which bundle do you think is prettier?  Do more balloons make it better, prettier, not necessarily.  It may be more awe inspiring but not prettier.  I look at them and think the bunch in the middle.  Then the thought came, friends are like balloons.  (This was all I saw and heard my dad say but the rest formulated as I wrote it down, so here is the rest) When you have 100 friends (or on facebook 562) it is awe inspiring.  Everyone would be amazed at how many friends you have.  You may even get lifted off the ground with a false sense of security.   You might feel special.   But what happens when you lose one?  What would happen when one balloon pops?  Nothing.  They are gone and you may not even know.  You can't enjoy them all, they can be alot to manage and they take alot of room (or in facebooks case, time).  How special are you now? 

Now one friend/balloon is safe and maybe even easier at times.  You don't have to worry about much of anything except the one balloon.  But God made us for relationships and one of my favorite sayings is "it takes a village"  well one balloon is not a village.  What happens when you need someone else (when the balloon pops)?  You are left all alone and off balance. 

So how many balloons/friends is good?  I don't think there is a right or wrong number and I think that the number will change during you life and your circumstances and I am only using 15-20 as an example of a medium number, the actual number is different for everyone.  Anyways, this number gives you stability, and at times it may help give you some air and help you along your way.   This number is able to be managed and each friend/balloon can be enjoyed and interacted with and the relationships can be nurtured because if one leaves (a balloon pops) you know, you can react and you can care.  You know in the "olden days"  friendship was so intentional.  We wrote letters, we sent cards that we signed ourselves, we made phone calls.  You can do this with a smaller number, you just can't do it with the larger number...not well and not by yourself.  Technology makes it too easy to keep in touch quickly and with less thought.

This is where it stopped, although my thoughts are still formulating and I am just amazed at how simple it is.  Now I don't remember my dad ever doing a sermon on balloons so I don't think this is a memory but it is possible.  I am sure if he did my family will let me know as they read this.  But I know what I saw and heard this morning as I was in church and as I got into my car and drove home, I broke out crying with excitement and sadness.  My dad was an amazing preacher and I didn't appreciate hearing him as a preacher for many years and I would give anything to hear him again.  Well, I heard him today and it was amazing!  Even as my thoughts formulated, I heard his voice encouraging me or affirming my thoughts.  It was bittersweet.  He was so inspiring to many people including his family, I love him and miss him daily.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think technology is great but I really feel that our relationships may be suffering because of how we use it.  So I am choosing to work on  my bouquet of balloons.  My bouquet of friends/balloons will have several levels, some will be closer to me than others because I interact with them more, some will be farther away because I want to keep in touch and see them regularly and they add a beauty and strength to my bouquet that would be dearly missed without them.  Those layers are what make my friend bouquet beautiful.

I will not have guilt anymore.  I know that I am not doing this maliciously and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone.  But I really want to focus on the people that can be supportive and have a positive influence on my life and I on theirs.  I want facebook to be a tool to use in my friendships not the entire friendship.

My love to all,
Brenda

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain....

Well, I will start with an update on Wil.  That line about Spain was all that was going through my head when I found out that Wil was off the coast of Spain.  I don't know why but it cracked me up.  Anyways, there long trip is almost over.  They are off the coast of Spain, where they met up with the Charlottetown (the ship that they are replacing) getting fuel, parts, mail and doing repairs and anything last minute before their final push to the waters off Libya.  I was blessed to be able to talk to him twice.  He was glad to be in port but he was still very busy.  He was working hard at trying to get all of his systems repaired before leaving again.  As of yesterday, things were looking up...most of the repairs were complete and he was feeling better about the status of his systems.  Unfortunately, he had been so busy in port that he hadn't had a chance to explore the area he was in but hopefully he will get to explore before he leaves.  They will be leaving from Spain and making a very brief stop in Italy and then it is on patrol they go.  They will not go in to port again for about a month so that will be my next conversation with him.  I gave him a hard time about getting pictures to me but what I didn't realize is that the ship has been having problems with the satellite and so they haven't had enough band width to send pics so if that gets fixed then he will send some as he can.  Otherwise, we will get to see them when he gets home.  Anyways, I am glad I got to speak to him and that he got to speak to both girls as well.  It was great to hear his voice.

bird bath

Well, as I was talking to him, I was standing on our back porch.  It was a lovely day and I was just enjoying the sunshine when all of the sudden I saw a flurry of wings and there was a beautiful little hummingbird.  A hummingbird!  It was so beautiful and tiny and it darted back and forth from my tomato plant to one of my hanging flower baskets.  It was precious.  So if you follow my facebook posts, I am addicted to birds right now.  I have 4 feeders (different types for different birds) and most recently I added a small bird bath (a birthday gift from my mom).  But now I will have to go get another shepherds hook and get my hummingbird feeder out.  I had it out earlier this year but didn't see any humming birds but now that I have proof, I will have to start trying to attract them and feed them.  I am an equal opportunity bird feeder.  I go out every morning and put food out for my birds.  I have to ration it because they eat so much that I could go broke feeding them but I do enjoy watching them out of my front window.

Well, we are gearing up for school which starts the day after Labor Day.  On Monday we will go to Tiana's school for a uniform sale to get her a couple more pieces of clothing to wear and then we will take them to an alterations place to get them fitted to her.  She doesn't appreciate it right now but she is what I would classify as petite so normal clothes are a bit long and baggy on her.  Oh I wish I had that problem.  Yesterday we signed her up for a dance class.  She took a belly dancing/hip hop class at a school last spring and really enjoyed it so this year she will take another hip hop class and then I think she will take the bellyfit class again and I think that Tabitha is interested in joining her this year.  At this point I am doing what ever I can to get the girls involved in stuff and busy.  It means alot of driving for me but I would rather drive them around like crazy than having them sitting at home idle.  It is much better for everyone. 

Fall is in the air here.  It is much cooler in the mornings and isn't getting as hot during the day.  I am super close to turning the air conditioning off for the year.  Last night we had a super rainstorm in the middle of the night and it is cloudy and damp today.  I am hoping it will rain again, we need it.  The grass is pretty brown because it has been very hot and dry lately.  Well, as I am writing this, it has begun to rain like crazy..YAY!

The next two weeks are going to be focused on getting the girls ready for school.  The lady that I share the job with is going on holidays for 3 weeks in September starting the first week of school so I will be working full time for 3 weeks so I need to make sure everything is set.  I do have to say that full time will still give me a bit of time during the week and I think the doctor is going to skip working Fridays for the month to give me a break so it really won't be bad but it is still enough of a change that it will throw the schedule out of whack, especially with school, dance classes and youth groups starting up at that same time.  September will come and go and I may not even realize it. 

Today is church and then we are heading up to see some friends for the afternoon.  Then on Saturday, the girls and I are going on a dinner cruise around the 1000 Islands.  I am very excited about that, I only wish Wil was joining us.

My love to all!

Canadian Evolution and a long awaited update

Sorry for the long time in between posts.  I am going to try to be more regular from now on.  It isn't like I have been busy but sometimes I just don't feel like dwelling on the situation long enough to write it down.  Sometimes I like just ignoring things.  But I would like to hear from people more so if I want to hear from people then I should make the effort to update you more regularly so you know what is going on.
So I thought I would start with something that is amusing to me and amazing to me.  I am calling this my Canadian evolution.  How has Canada changed me in the last year. 

walking stick on side of house

Well, lets start with bugs.  Yes, bugs.  I am not a fan and living in Colorado (high altitude, very few bugs) has made me a bit wimpy.  Well when we got here in the middle of summer it was bug mania.  I was swatting and jumping and smashing and killing left and right.  I got bit by an earwig, I had mosquito bites everywhere and I was constantly jumping out of the way of the large bees, spiders, snakes and colorful creepy crawlies that we had here.  So how has that changed.  Well, I don't know how it changed but the other day as I was working in the garden, I felt something crawling on my chest and looked down to see a spider crawling inside my shirt...INSIDE...ON MY SKIN...I didn't even jump...I just flicked it off and went on weeding...then I thought about it and I laughed.  Today I was out in the garden again, deadheading my flowers and there were a couple bees that were sharing the same flowers I was working on...I wasn't nervous, I didn't freeze, I just kept on going.  Ok, I did still jump when I picked up my curling iron and there was a spider sitting under it but I got a Kleenex, flushed it down the toilet and curled my hair.  This is from a girl who called Wil to come kill a spider in my bedroom before we were married...lol.  OK, if her were here, I would still call him, cuz I don't like bugs, but I have just become more one with the nature we share.

Heat and humidity,  I love the heat and I don't mind the humidity.  Now don't get me wrong, I love coming inside to cool off in my air conditioned house, but, I really enjoy the heat and I love working in the yard in the heat and humidity and coming in dripping with sweat.  It makes every thing I do seem like twice the work out it really is...lol.  Now, I am reasonable and when it gets up to 40 (104F), I am inside.  But I love it around 25 (77F) with the humidity and whats the best part?  Warm Rain!  I remember playing in the rain in Africa and in Chicago and you just don't do that in Colorado cuz the rain is darn chilly.  But here, I can sit on the porch and listen to it rain, we can play in the rain, we can work in the rain.  It is lovely.  I was born on the ocean and I truly believe that I am meant to be in a warm climate with water nearby.  I do love the colors that come with the heat/humidity and seasons.  It is amazing the brilliance of flowers and plants.  Just beautiful.

There are more things but those are the two that hit me hard last year and this year, I am enjoying or adapting to them.

Now to the family.

Tiana had a great time in Colorado, she stayed with many people, visited lots of old haunts, did a bunch of fun stuff and came back exhausted but refreshed and happy.  She made her first flight by herself with a connecting flight in Philadelphia.  Of course, I was hoping that it would go smoothly but it didn't.  Her flight was delayed and then canceled (they boarded, taxied and then deplaned) and then she was rebooked for 4 hours later.  She was stuck in the Philly airport for about 6 hours by herself.  I was very proud.  She only panicked once and that is because of the poor service from the airline but she calmed right down and did great.  She was back a couple days and then she went to New York with her youth group to a Christian festival called Kingdom Bound.  It was at an amusement park and there were a bunch of Christian concerts and she had a ball.  She is getting her resume together and is going to try to get a part time job to earn some money towards a car since she starts driving this year.

Tabitha came home on Thursday.  She had a great time with her mom from what I hear and she came home with a cute new haircut.  She will be adjusting to the time change for the next little bit but I think she is glad to be home.

School starts for the girls on the Tuesday after Labor Day.  Tiana will be at St. Johns still and Tabitha will stay at SFDCI.  I am hopeful that this school year will be a bit less traumatic as last year but its high school so I am also being realistic.

Wil looking up at radar equipment while his guys are working

Wil is in the Atlantic somewhere.  I hear from him on and off through email.  I wouldn't say regularly...it is sporadic.  They are getting close to their destination (Libya) and he said it is getting more and more stressful the closer they get.  He is dealing with some major equipment issues which has been very frustrating.  He said that he gets one thing fixed and another thing breaks.  This makes his relationship with his boss a bit stressful so he his hoping at the next port when the parts and repair crew gets there that the equipment will get up and running and things will smooth out.  I talked to him on the 31st of July and he sounded exhausted.  Since he is the Head of Department, he is not getting much sleep.  Anytime something goes wrong, which has been alot, he has to be awakened.  This sea tour is a lot different for him and although he is glad for the opportunity and is enjoying parts of it, I think he misses being home more than he thought he would.  That is just my conjecture so I could be wrong, just a gut feeling.  We still don't have a date for him to come home but we are guessing February sometime.  I am not holding my breath.

Me, I am trucking along.  I told the girls my favorite thing about them being gone was that I didn't have to grocery shop or cook.  I also told them that it really showed me how much work they cause and don't help with.  That is going to change. (I hope)  How am I doing?  I am doing...that is all I can say.  I have good days and I have bad days.  The hardest thing is not being able to communicate with Wil on a regular basis.  I miss him terribly.  It is hard not having someone just to chat with on a regular basis.  I am so thankful....soooooo thankful though that this didn't happen last year.  It is hard enough to do it after being settled in, I can't imagine what it would have been like last year.  I am ever thankful for my job.  It gets me out of the house and I get to interact with some wonderful ladies who are a wealth of information for my stupid Canadian questions...lol.  I am excited for the girls to start school and to get back into a routine.  I am trying to start a new habit.  When I get super stressed or angry or frustrated, I go work out or go for a walk, or do something physical.  We will see whether this works but I figure it should be a good thing!

Lizzy is doing pretty well without Molly.  She has lost a lot of weight....I think just from me being able to regulate her food intake.  She was pretty fat which is not healthy for any dog but especially a doxie so she is much healthier now.   I am sure she used to eat some of Molly's.  She comes with me anytime I go for a drive where I am not leaving the car...the bank, dropping the girls here and there, etc.  She has turned into quite the little rider.  She just curls up on the seat and hangs out.  She really likes it when no one is in the front seat.  I miss Molly daily.  She was very special to me.

Simba has gotten quite large on the other hand.  He is a big cat.  I  can't tell if he is fat or just big.  He is a character, a bit of a diva and probably one of the best cats I have ever had.  Although the amount of fur he sheds is just nasty.  I need to brush him more.  One of our favorite things to do is scratch his butt, because he starts licking and when we stop, he stops and it just goes on and on...very funny.  We bought a furminator this morning off of kijiji (like craigs list).  I have been brushing him with it ever since we got home and holy moly...hair just keeps coming off of him.  Piles and piles of it.  I am hoping that it will decrease the amount of hair laying around the house.  He sure is pretty but I will not have a long hair cat again. 

I think that is enough for now.  What do we have coming up.  We have a dinner cruise on the 1000 Islands, we have a Christian concert at a church in Ottawa, and maybe another trip to Niagara to meet with some family.  Yes the holidays, but honestly, I am not really looking forward to them this year...I wouldn't mind just skipping them, but here is what we have Canadian Thanksgiving, Tabithas 15th Birthday, American Thanksgiving, Tiana's 16th birthday, Christmas and our Anniversary.  (woohoo...NOT).

My love you all, I miss you and wish I was closer!